Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)
Genre: Horror/Comedy/Devine Horror
Where to Watch: Tubi, Pluto, Prime (from $1.99)
The film takes us back to the summer of 1977 at Bible Camp. A beautiful area with forests and sunshine, where a group of counselors are getting ready for their annual camping experience with the good Lord Jesus and Father God. But as in most summer camp films, our counselors are horn
dogs, smoke the Devil’s weed, gossip negatively about others, abide the Devil’s hell water from flasks. Gasp! This Bible camp is run by Father Bobbins. Some of the counselors Chad and Brother Zeke get two of the angelic girls drunk, so they will have sex with them. Chad and Betty go out to the wilderness to do the nasty deed. But, she wants to do it on a bed in the cabin. And start back to the cabins. Meanwhile back at our holy camp, a counselor is getting ready to smoke some of the Devil’s weed. Someone comes up behind him quietly and kills him. Another, decides to urinate next to the cabin. Someone kills him with a Crux Immississa (Latin Cross) that has a knife coming out from the end. Back to Chad and Betty stop at a tree stump and Betty says that she wants to have sex on the tree stump. She lays forward on the stump. Chad tells her that he’ll be back. Poor Chad can’t get hard. He thinks of hot actresses and is finally hard. He goes back to the stump and Betty is still there. He starts to have sex with her and what is the worst thing that can happen when you’re having sex? No, not that. But when your partner’s head falls off her body. That kills the mood every time. Chad seeing the head roll onto the forest floor, isn’t aware of a dark figure behind him. We finally see who has been killing the campers. It’s a nun with a devil mask on. Her name - Sister Mary Chopper. While Chad is still panicking over Betty’s head, he is still having sex. Sister Mary cuts off his manhood!
Kill Count seen below
Back at camp, Brother Zeke is just finishing up having sex with Bambi, a a young camper is watching through the cabin window. The child is watching someone fornicate. That is a sin, so he has to go. The Sister kills him. After sex, Zeke is taking a dump in the bathroom. When he is finished, something horrible happens. There’s no toilet paper! Don’t you just hate when that happens? I know I do! He hears a noise. Could it be Bambi? No it’s Sister Chopper! She cuts him open and out drops the poor guy’s intestines. I guess he doesn’t have to worry about the toilet paper anymore.
We have now flashed forward to 1984 (7 years later). Father Richard is taking a group of teens from the St. Judas Catholic Church to Happy Day Bible Camp. (The father is interested in buying the camp. ) While traveling in their van the group is singing “going down the road to Jesus.” The van stops at a country store. Father asks a teen named Timmy, “Timmy do you smell that?” (Meaning the fresh country air) and Timmy replies “All I can smell is cow poop.” Timmy is not the smartest tool in the box. They all go into the store to get supplies to take to camp. There are some hard looking dudes in this place. Jennifer, a goth girl, shoplifts something and the toughest looking dude tells her “Thou shall not steal “. He turns out to be a Christian. She puts it back. Father Richard goes up to the counter to speak with our member David C. Hayes! Oops! Sorry. I meant to say J.J..
J.J. Inquires where they’re headed. The Father tells him Happy Day Bible Camp. J.J. Is shocked. He says you’re going to Bloody Bloody Bible Camp. Father laughs, thinking it’s a joke. The owner tells him that his brother Dewayne, a guy who’s drooling and staring out the window, went to the camp 7 years ago.that Sister Mary Chopper came close to killing Dewayne, but he survived. He hasn’t said a word in 7 years. J.J. Also tells him that the Sister was never caught. Gasp! I know you’re probably thinking that’s awful. She’s still out there. Right? But think about it if they had caught her, there would never be a movie. Am I right?
They finally reach the camp. They are all unpacking and getting settled in. Jennifer, who is a goth girl and Brittney, an empty headed good Christian gurl. Brittney is excited that Jennifer brought a music tape, until she sees it’s a group called Satan’s Hookers. She tells her cabin mate that she’s going to hell for listening to that kind of music. In the boy’s cabin, Tad tells Vance and Timy, that Brittney is hot. Timy asks if she has a fever. Is she sick?Tad tells Timmy what he meant. Tad then tells Timmy that he has a boner. Timmy freaks out because he has a boner and says he’s going to Hell. He goes to the bathroom and jerks off. He asks Jesus to take the boner away. Then he asks himself what that white stuff is. He concludes it must be the holy water that Father Cummings told them about. And he heads off to talk to the priest. Meanwhile in the office, Father Richard, Brother Zeke and Millie are discussing the camp. They can’t figure out why the camp is so cheap to buy. Millie figures that there is something wrong with it. But the Father disagrees. He thinks that the Lord brought them there for one unforgettable weekend. One they’ll be talking about for the rest of their lives.
Around a campfire, the group gathers. Tad asked Timmy how his boner is. Timmy says that the pastor told him it was a holy boner”. Millie tells Jennifer how beautiful she is. The Father tells the group that if everything goes well, that the church may buy the camp. He also tells them that they are going to have fellowship, fun…Timmy interrupts and says “and hot wieners!” And, the pastor says, “and there’s only one type of wiener you want to wrap your lips around and that’s one big juicy wiener!” Brittney is wondering if anyone else was frightened by the Suster Mary Chopper story. The father tells them it just a story they tell to keep city folk away. Then someone asks about Dewayne. The Father tells them that he was probably born that way. That it was part of the Lord’s plan. Father Richard wrote a little song and gets out his guitar and starts singing a song about how men are men and women are to be housewives. That they will cook and clean. What the Hell?the end of the song says so everyone grab your wiener!
During this time, we see the Sister at a small alter saying The Lord’s Prayer. The campers are back in their cabins. Brittney is undressing in front of the window. And Brother Zeke is watching. He gets caught by Father Richard. Zeke says he’s just making sure everyone is ok. The Father tells him that he knows exactly what he was doing. Zeke responds by saying I’ll never be caught again! He is to pray for God’s forgiveness during the weekend. He is told that the wages of sin is death.
Millie is having a nightmare where a bloody Dewayne is crawling on her bed. WTH?She wakes up. Vance and Timmy go to breakfast.
In her secret location, Sister Mary is praying for forgiveness. The campers get excited about the Bible trivia contest. Timmy gets the questions right and after each answer is given, Jennifer questions it. The answer to one question is if you don’t ask forgiveness before you die, you will go to Hell. Jennifer then asks if Hitler asks for forgiveness before he died, would he go to Heaven? Annoyed by the question, the frustrated pastor tells her yes. The priest then asks what happens to homosexuals and Jennifer responds that they become Priests. Brother Zeke laughs.
Next up is a beach trip. Millie touches Jennifer’s back, Tad and Timmy play around, and Vance takes photos of Brittney. They are going to go on a nature walk next. Millie offers to be Jennifer’s partner. Jennifer says she feels like she doesn’t fit in. But she doesn’t want to talk about it. Sister Mary is doing a stigmata, by cutting holes in the palm of her hand. Vance is trying to attract Brittney by reading the Bible. He says that he he doesn’t unstand what the problem is with sodomy. She thinks he said salami. Talk over.
Zeke and Tad talk about getting Brittney and Millie drunk and having sex with the. Zeke gets in the van to go to the store. The nun is back and she decapitates him. She then has flashbacks. A nun wearing an eyepatch is verbally and psychologically torturing a young choir boy. Telling him that he’ll never become a priest. Mary is tortured by this flashback.
In the evening, Tad tells Brittney that Zeke is going to get some brewskys. And she says that she hopes they’re wine coolers, because Jesus is down with wine coolers. Then the massacre begins. During the murders Jennifer finds out that Millie was at the camp 7 years ago. She left Dewayne there with Sister Mary. And ran off. The guys at the store find out that Dewayne has left to
go to the camp for revenge. They go after him. The father thinks everything is going well. He’s laying on his bed looking at Cummunian magazine. The pastor has met up with the nun and he’s on the floor. But Jesus (Ron Jeremy) saves him. And sends him to kick the nun’s ass. The grocery store guys show up and die. I won’t tell you who has died or how this ends. You will have to see for yourself. And you’ll probably want to go to confessional after watching this movie. You’ll probably have to do many Hail Marys on your rosary as a pendency.
Director and writers Vito Tranucco and Shelby McIntyre combined vision turned what could have been a generic slasher into a memorable, humorous, and satirical cult classic appreciated for its campiness and boldness.
The actors and characters are memorable. It was nice to see our fellow member David C. Hayes (who is also a co producer) in this film. He did a great job as J.J.
People should watch “Bloody Bloody Bible Camp if they enjoy horror movies that are self aware, humorous, and intentionally cheesy. It’s perfect for those looking for a campy, gory parody that doesn’t take itself too seriously and offers a fun, wild ride through horror cliches and religious satire. (Im a Christian and I loved this film and thought it was very funny).
Trivia: “Tim Sullivan (Sister Mary Chopper) improvised a lot of his dialogue.”
- The bulk of the gore F/x were done practically. Only 2 effects featured in the film were done digitally.”
Your Cruelly,
Madam Cadaver
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